Thursday, December 20

363 days*

*originally from LJ

Thanks to those of you who remembered my birthday. I won't reproach those that didn't. They know who they are, and if they are trully my friends, they will feel bad without me having to tell them to :)

My birthday always sucks... It's always during finals time, so most people in Cornell are either busy studying, or have already gone home. Or if I'm home, then most of my friends from home are still in school. So no one is ever around. I haven't had a "birthday party" in 4 years. It's not about the party though, I don't like birthday parties with everyone sitting around the table doing small talk. I just want to go out with a few friends, do something.

This birthday was actually better than last years. My friend Steve (aka Fumbler, aka Vinesandthorns on livejournal) treated me to karaoke in the village. I have the tape to blackmail him, mwahahahaha. But I shouldn't laugh, he kept the first tape. I haven't listened to all of it yet, but I have a feeling "Barbie Girl" will be the best track. hehe

363 days till I can drink legally! woohoo!

Tuesday, December 18

Happy birthday to me, *

*originally from LJ

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me-ee,
Happy birthday to me.

Saturday, December 15

the sweet taste of freedom*

*originally from LJ

After briefly losing my marbles on thursday, I managed to find enough of them to finish my paper friday morning. 40 pages of text, 50 pages with figures, endnotes, citations, etc... It was my masterpiece. I pity anyone who has to read it. My motivation for finishing it early was to get the goodies the secretary was giving away. I got a Cornell-in-Washington mug (high quality!), a group picture in front of the building, and a group picture with Ruth (Bader Ginsberg).

My dad is picking me up tomorrow at 10am, so I have to pack all my stuff up today. We also have to clean the apartment. Christine traded us the bathroom for the fridge. She doesn't want anything to do with cleaning the fridge so she volunteered to clean the toilet. I'm not sure if I would've made that choice... then again looking in the fridge, I think I see her point. I made some mashed potatoes a few months ago, I think I'll just throw the tupperwear away. It's probably safer that way.

Although moving can be kinda fun... change of scenery, finding all the stuff you thought you'd lost... I think I'm finally sick of it. I've moved every year in the last 2 years, and I'm moving 2 times this year. My friend in Boston has lived in the same place for the last 3.5 years so I can understand when he's sad to leave it. He rightly calls it his home. Well, I'm not particularly attached to any place I've lived in the last 2.5 years. They were all just rooms in a dorm or apartment. I want a home! :(

We went shopping in Georgetown yesterday and we saw all this cool stuff you can use to decorate a cool apartment! I want a cool apartment! With little knick knacks everywhere. Not too many though, you wouldn't want them to overpower you.

Now for some good news... I had an excellent dream last night. I was dating this performance artist, Ito. He was very artsy looking. Anyways, he had just opened a new show and I went to see it. It was a film put to music, no dialogue. It was broken up in to 3 parts, each shown in a different room. So you would have to move on when one part was over. I probably couldn't recall all the details but I got to see the entire thing in my dream and it was very cool. This Ito was one brilliant artist. Oh wait, it was my brain's creation, I'm a brilliant artist (trapped in the body of a scientist). I'm thinking I should stop dating computer nerds and move on to some artsy fartsy dude. At least as a trial run. I need to try on someone eccentric to see if maybe I like that better. But alas, I don't think I'm the type of person a cool arteest would date. Bummer.

Thursday, December 13

AAAAAHHHHHH*

*originally from LJ

So this is what it's like to loose one's mind! I'm about to go nuts. I've jumped up and down, I've stretched, I've stood on my head, I've had hot chocolate and lots of cookies. I've played more pong and Jalaga than any human being should. I don't know what to do with myself!!!!!!!!!!

Marbles | Jalaga | Pong

THAT is what I've been doing with my time. It might seem like fun, but after a while it's really MADDENING! Try to get to level 75 on Jalaga. My goal is 100.

All I have to do is write a stupid conclusion to my stupid 40 page paper. All I need is just two to three paragraphs. But it's finally happened.... my brain has been sucked dry. There's nothing left. NADA. ZIPPO.

I don't recommend starting a conversation with me anytime soon. You will find yourself losing IQ with every second. Really, we wouldn't get very far. Just replay some past conversations we've had. They'll bring you comfort.

I only ask one thing of you.... think of me fondly.

Current Music: Blank & Jones - In Da Mix (Dance Classix 2000) (D I G I T A L L Y - I M P O R T E D - European Trance, Techno, Hi-NRG... we can't define it!)

Comments:


12/14/01 6:20 AM nrrrdygirl
you've gone off the deep end, my friend...

12/14/01 8:22 AM drone1218 (me) "Re:"
yabadaba doooooooooo

12/15/01 8:17 AM srlife "huh huh beavis, she said 'fondle' huh huh"
i'd like to fondle something huhuh...
yeah but-head.. fondle yeah oooooiihhhaaaa hehe

12/15/01 8:21 AM drone1218 (me) "RE: huh huh beavis, she said 'fondle' huh huh"
huh huh
you said "head" huh huh

Tuesday, December 11

more self discovery... *

*originally from LJ

You were PJ Harvey in a past life! You can be somewhat reserved, but when there's an issue you feel strongly about you're not afraid to share your opinion. You're the walking definition of sophistication and people admire you for your strength and composure. You are highly artistic and enjoy creating masterpieces any way you can!

Comments:

12/12/01 8:49 AM nrrrdygirl
Hey I liked the old format better... you tryin to be original or something? :-P

Monday, December 10

potatoe, potatoe*

*originally from LJ

Some people (I won't name names) are of the opinion that I use this journal too much. Perhaps I have a lot of useless posts, but I really don't have anything "deep" to say. I am not a trivial person, but I'm not very expressive with my emotions. Besides, I personally don't want my secrets and innermost fears read by people I know are reading my journal (much less strangers).

For these people's sake I will refrain from making more posts unless I have something important to share.

There.

Comments:

12/11/01 4:42 AM nrrrdygirl
AWWW don't deprive the rest of us of your lighthearted levity...I like posts that make no sense and have no deep emotional content as much as I like the "deep, meaningful" ones... I need a break from my OWN damn journal! :-P

12/11/01 1:00 PM vinesandthorns "eww"
screw them! post as much as you want, as long as you dont start posting shit like wendy LOL. And anyways in my mind you're still making up for the 9 months in which you didnt post anything :-)

Today*

*originally from LJ

Alright. I can do this. It must be done.

To make sure that I don't slack off, I will take my laptop downstairs, away from all distractions. There is just no other way to do this.

Goals (I like Diorella's list):
now - 12: breakfast, complete waking up
12-3: write part 1 of paper
3-4ish: meet with my professor about my other paper
4ish-7: write part 2 of paper
7-10: actually finish the paper, considering I probably won't get it done by 7 :)

If you see me online after 12:30, tell me to get off and do work!!!

So I wake up to find this email in my inbox:

Anna:

For reasons I'll explain in person, I am not quite finished writing
comments on your rough draft. I am working still to get the
comments done and back to you within the next day. However, I have
read your draft carefully and would like to discuss structural
suggestions as soon as possible.

See you soon.

Steve


So of course I start to totally freak out. I'm thinking he returned everyone else's papers but he kept mine because it's just so horribly bad!! But then my roommate Christine, who is in the same class, comes out of the bedroom and says "so when's your appointment?" Then she read me her email, and its the exact same one.

This little bit is for our professor Steve: We're on to you!!!. Trying to scare us, sheesh! It won't work!

btw, I'm using the Windows client to post this thing and it's actually pretty good.

Sunday, December 9

ARG[] *

*originally from LJ

I've been trying to write this damn paper for 3 days now!!!! So far I have 3 paragraphs. I think I've lost the fear... of the grade and of the impending deadline. I need a new motivation. I need someone to MAKE ME work!!!! This is terrible! Just terrible I tell you!

My throat is sore.... I hope I'm not coming down with anything :(

On another note, my last sunday in DC is coming to an end. In ten more minutes it'll pass, and then it's going to be my last monday in DC. I can't wait to get out of here, but the prospect of going home for a month isn't all that thrilling either. I need a new hideout.

Suggestions?

Current Music: Kate Bush - Lily

Comments:


12/10/01 6:01 AM nrrrdygirl
Hey dude we should get together this break...I don't think I'll be working or anything, so we can be bored together :-P

Saturday, December 8

a gut voch!*

*originally from LJ

I just got back from spending a Shabbos with a local Rabbi and his family. It's a strange thing. I can be perfectly content going about my life, without really putting much thought into spirituality or religion, but whenever I spend Shabbos in a religious home, I always end up feeling like that's what I want. There is just such a feeling of peace, happiness, contentment. There is a certain feeling of holiness, I guess is the best word I can think of, sitting at a Shabbos table, the candles lit, the kiddush cup filled with wine, everyone waiting for the blessing. Just for this day, things aren't complicated. There are no phone calls, no business to take care of, just food, family, prayer.

There is also something deeper about religious people. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but pretty much all the families I've met are trully genuinly happy. I got the feeling like the Rabbi and his wife really loved each other. They certainly adored their children, all seven of them. Every single one of those kids was loved equally. For those that don't know, Jews are commanded to have many children, and they love to have lots of children. The oldest daughter of this family is very ill, I think she has cystic fibrosis. So with each child they had, there was a 1/4 chance that he or she would also be sick. But that didn't matter to the parents. They love their eldest daughter as much as any of their "normal" children. They talk to her like a normal child (eventhough she is mentally retarded), they include her at the table. She was beautifully dressed. The mother washed her hands for her (for the bread), she fed her a piece of bread and a little of all the food at the table.

It's all the little things that really bring forth the beauty of Judaism. After the father got home from synagogue, everyone gathered around the table and sang a song welcoming the Shabbos, then another one that has a dual meaning - it praises the Shabbos as well as the wife/woman (Shabbos is considered female). Then the parents blessed all their children, in order of birth, starting with the eldest. The father would cup the child's head, bend down and just whisper to them. The mother did it with a loving smile, then she would kiss them, and move on to the next. The father sang songs or tunes during dinner, with his son humming along. Then he questioned some of the children on the weekly Torah reading that they learned in school, explaining the story both to them and the guests.

There were 7 guests this week! In a house with 7 children, and not enough room for even them, these people welcomed 7 strangers! Seven was too many though, so they asked their friends/neighbors to help out, and sure enough, they were more than willing to. In fact, the friends thanked the rabbi and his wife for allowing them to host guests! Everyone is just so nice! All their houses are *filled* with pictures of their children, and other family members. Everything revolves around the family.

These were incredible people and an incredible weekend. I wish for that kind of security, that kind of peace and acceptance. Sure it can all be custom and tradition, but those things bring great comfort. Just the act of lighting the candles calms the soul - whether you believe in one or not.

I keep going back and forth about where I want to end up religiously. I guess in the end, in order for me to accomplish anything, i.e. keeping kosher and Shabbos, I'd have to find someone looking for the same level of growth. I don't want to be pushed into doing more than I'm ready for, but I also don't want to do it all by myself. It would be nice to find someone willing to learn with me. But who knows if such a person is out there... I don't know how much faith I have to keep waiting.

::sigh:::

On a lighter note, there were some nice jewish boys in attendence...

There was also the cutest 2 year old named Ahuva, which is a variation of the Hebrew word for love (ahava). She was the most adorable and friendly little girl! She had a favorite book which he had almost every one of the guests read to her. Her mother is actually concerned that Ahuva may be a little too friendly. If a guest asks her to follow them home, she will. hehe :) Her mother is afraid Ahuva will just walk out and never come back. She made it down the street behind one person once. I asked her to come with me, she gave me her hand and said "yes." When her mother asked her to stay and said that she loved her, she said "no," and waved "bye." So adorable!!!

Thursday, December 6

Harry Potter (said the British way)*

*originally from LJ


I, Ismarelda, have been selected to attend Hogwarts... I am part of the Hufflepuff house. My wand is a Dragon Heartstring in Cedar, 13 inches. I passed Snape's Potions class the first time, but not the second :( But I'll keep trying!!!


This is my disinterested, narcoleptic pet owl, Dryden.


I think I'd make a good blocker or keeper, but I'm a terrible chaser and seeker. Do you Quidditch??

hehe

Comments:

12/07/01 7:14 aM nrrrdygirl
you've procrastinated waaayy too much last night, anna darling... :-P

*originally from LJ

I had a very disturbing dream last night. Very disturbing indeed. I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say I hope I never have such a dream again.

good to know... *

*originally from LJ


If I were a work of art, I would be Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa.

I am extremely popular and widely known. Although unassuming and unpretentious, my enigmatic smile has charmed millions. I am a mystery, able to be appreciated from afar, but ultimately unknowable and thus intriguing.

Which work of art would you be? The Art Test



Also...

I am 45% British, just like
Catherine Zeta Jones
A true English rose, but you know where the money is.

Take the Brit Quiz at
www.darrenlondon.tripod.com/britquiz1.htm

Quiz written by Daz [info]daz71

Frankly, I'd rather be Catherine Zeta than Mona Lisa.

eurika!*

*originally from LJ

I've found the secret to LiveJournal! You just have to use it when no one else is! Easy no?? Apparently no one is up at 9:40, so this thing is really fast, and it ACTUALLY WORKS!!

WOOHOO!!! LAST CLASS OF THE SEMESTER IN 20 MINUTES!

flip flop*

*originally from LJ

What should I do with my life? The floor is open for discussion.

One day I'm really excited about grad school. You get to contribute something novel to science. You become an expert in your specific area. Science is exciting, interesting, challenging... You get to meet interesting people who are at the top of their fields.

Another day, I don't want to go to grad school. What if I don't get in to any? And if I do, what if I just can't make it?? If getting a PhD was easy, everyone would have one. It's not easy to think of an independent project, design it, and work it out. What if I just have a total break down? It's a long haul... 4-7 years. Ouch. I want to have a life. I don't want to live in the lab.

Then again, I can only get a limited number of with my degree. I probably wouldn't get paid more than the graduate stipend. If I'm doing lab work, I might as well be doing some that is going towards my own degree.

I'm considering Teach for America... I think teaching science will be cool. But again, I don't know how good I am at teaching, especially kids from underpriviledged backgrounds. I'm a terrible public speaker. I'm sure teaching gets rough. It's not easy to get through to someone. What if they don't want to listen? What if they're disruptive??

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
that is all for now.

Comments:

12/06/01 1:43 PM vinesandthorns "....."
you have nothing to worry about. you'll excell in whatever path you choose to take.

12/06/01 1:48 PM drone1218 (me) "RE: ....."
what the hell kind of responce is that??

12/06/01 4:46 PM srlife "hang in there"
I look at you and see a roll model for me..

Wednesday, December 5

ode to NIH*

*originally from LJ

Things I will miss about NIH (in no particular order):

the security check - complete with metal detectors and gloved police ladies rummaging through my bag

free copies in the library

finding pretty much everything in the library from my PubMed search
extracting plasma, serum and lymph from blood samples

MACs MACs MACs

Answering the phone "Clinical Pharmacology"

eating lunch at 11 am

Rats day

bloody Monday

Oh NIH NCI DDT MB CP, how I will miss thee.

Tuesday, December 4

aaah... the NIH *

*originally from LJ

So tomorrow is my last day at my inernship, which apparently half the people there forgot. They were quite shocked to find out. Introducing me to the new post-doc "And Anna is an undergrad here with us till..." me: "tomorrow." "OH, tomorrow apparently!"

Anyways, I was invited to an exclusive lab meeting - meaning not the entire lab, just me, a tech, the head honchos and the 2 new postdocs. The meeting was held at the Ritz-Carleton. We had a nice conference room, fully stocked with glasses, little (and I mean mini) bottles of soda, cookies, fruit, ice, coffee, writing pads, and a board. Very "ritsy." haha, like the pun??

Then we had lunch at a very nice chinese place, P.K. And I was told to not hesitate to as for a recommendation if I needed one.

good day!

Monday, December 3

lazy ass*

*originally from LJ

Well.. it's only temporary, which is why I must enjoy every moment.

...finished my "thesis" paper last night (or this morning.. depending on how you look at it). 40 pages of text - not including the appendices. I've definately written more this semester than I have in the last 2 years put together.

So what have I done tonight, considering I have no more work until Weds. night? Well...
stopped by the library on my way back (see? i'm not all that bad!)
...came back and put my papers away
went to get a sub at Subway's
came back and watched tv
watched SATC
sat online... randomness.

Ah the sweet sounds of nothing to do!

Current Music: Start the Commotion aka the VW commercial

Comments:

12/04/01 6:47 AM srlife "no way... :o"
if i'm ever forced to write a 40 page paper..
and i get through it without loosing my mind...
i'd suck every moment of nothing-to-do as if it was strawberry jello

Saturday, December 1

*originally from LJ

I give up. There is no "the one." Men suck. I'm going to be an old hag living with my 20 cats.

Or maybe I should just switch teams. But women are bitches too... sometimes they can be even worse then men.

there's just no right answer.

Comments:

12/04/01 6:45 AM srlife "really?"
why would you give up?
you are not the giving-up type...
you'll find your guy, -if not sooner than later..

I just don't know.*

*originally from LJ

Everytime I watch Sex and the City, I get one of two reactions. The first, makes me want to be FABULOUS! Live in NYC, wear expensive and trendy clothes, shop like there's no credit limit, and have a group of close and cool friends. I want to be an empowered woman who can do anything (with anyone). I want the freedom to just whore around. The second reaction comes from episodes like "The Man, the Myth, the Viagra" where Miranda meets Steve... I just want to meet someone and have a happy ending. I don't really want to be a 33 year old lonely woman with a cat. I want a big stong man, like Mr. Big only not as aloof. Charming like Steve. Someone who'll put his name on the card.

::sigh::

Comments:

12/01/01 2:15 PM srlife "and I want... ;)"
keep dreaming pretty lady....

~~~~,'(@

12/04/01 7:18 AM nrrrdygirl "oh, Anna!"
Aww...don't be so down on yourself... For laughs (or not) you should read this book called "The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right" by Ellen Fein. Now don't laugh, but I actually have a copy of this book. My boss was talking about it and I was intrigued. No, I haven't resorted to following "the Rules"...just seeing if any of it actually makes sense. Surprisingly it does...but like everything else, take it with a grain of salt. ;-P

Just when I was beginning to be contented with singlehood I started remembering how I want to meet someone too. Dave hasn't called yet. Maybe my friend didn't give him my # yet...oh well. Must repeat the mantra, "I am Independent Woman, I don't need a man to be whole -- men are just extras, like side-dishes...I am an Independent Woman, I don't need a man to be whole -- men are just extras..." hehehe. You should listen to "Express Yourself" by Madonna. Does wonders for the female spirit. Mine, anyway. :-P Well I hope you're feeling better today!