*originally from LJ
I just got back from spending a Shabbos with a local Rabbi and his family. It's a strange thing. I can be perfectly content going about my life, without really putting much thought into spirituality or religion, but whenever I spend Shabbos in a religious home, I always end up feeling like that's what I want. There is just such a feeling of peace, happiness, contentment. There is a certain feeling of holiness, I guess is the best word I can think of, sitting at a Shabbos table, the candles lit, the kiddush cup filled with wine, everyone waiting for the blessing. Just for this day, things aren't complicated. There are no phone calls, no business to take care of, just food, family, prayer.
There is also something deeper about religious people. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but pretty much all the families I've met are trully genuinly happy. I got the feeling like the Rabbi and his wife really loved each other. They certainly adored their children, all seven of them. Every single one of those kids was loved equally. For those that don't know, Jews are commanded to have many children, and they love to have lots of children. The oldest daughter of this family is very ill, I think she has cystic fibrosis. So with each child they had, there was a 1/4 chance that he or she would also be sick. But that didn't matter to the parents. They love their eldest daughter as much as any of their "normal" children. They talk to her like a normal child (eventhough she is mentally retarded), they include her at the table. She was beautifully dressed. The mother washed her hands for her (for the bread), she fed her a piece of bread and a little of all the food at the table.
It's all the little things that really bring forth the beauty of Judaism. After the father got home from synagogue, everyone gathered around the table and sang a song welcoming the Shabbos, then another one that has a dual meaning - it praises the Shabbos as well as the wife/woman (Shabbos is considered female). Then the parents blessed all their children, in order of birth, starting with the eldest. The father would cup the child's head, bend down and just whisper to them. The mother did it with a loving smile, then she would kiss them, and move on to the next. The father sang songs or tunes during dinner, with his son humming along. Then he questioned some of the children on the weekly Torah reading that they learned in school, explaining the story both to them and the guests.
There were 7 guests this week! In a house with 7 children, and not enough room for even them, these people welcomed 7 strangers! Seven was too many though, so they asked their friends/neighbors to help out, and sure enough, they were more than willing to. In fact, the friends thanked the rabbi and his wife for allowing them to host guests! Everyone is just so nice! All their houses are *filled* with pictures of their children, and other family members. Everything revolves around the family.
These were incredible people and an incredible weekend. I wish for that kind of security, that kind of peace and acceptance. Sure it can all be custom and tradition, but those things bring great comfort. Just the act of lighting the candles calms the soul - whether you believe in one or not.
I keep going back and forth about where I want to end up religiously. I guess in the end, in order for me to accomplish anything, i.e. keeping kosher and Shabbos, I'd have to find someone looking for the same level of growth. I don't want to be pushed into doing more than I'm ready for, but I also don't want to do it all by myself. It would be nice to find someone willing to learn with me. But who knows if such a person is out there... I don't know how much faith I have to keep waiting.
::sigh:::
On a lighter note, there were some nice jewish boys in attendence...
There was also the cutest 2 year old named Ahuva, which is a variation of the Hebrew word for love (ahava). She was the most adorable and friendly little girl! She had a favorite book which he had almost every one of the guests read to her. Her mother is actually concerned that Ahuva may be a little too friendly. If a guest asks her to follow them home, she will. hehe :) Her mother is afraid Ahuva will just walk out and never come back. She made it down the street behind one person once. I asked her to come with me, she gave me her hand and said "yes." When her mother asked her to stay and said that she loved her, she said "no," and waved "bye." So adorable!!!