self awareness*

*originally from LJ

Every once in a while I come to a realization about myself. I've recently realized a character trait of mine. I feel uncomfortable going somewhere without being explicitly invited. For example, if there's a house party somewhere and a friend is going and says "would you like to come along?" I will likely say no because I myself wasn't invited. As another example, my roommate was having dinner with a friend of hers (who I also know) at our apartment tonight. She asked me if I wanted to join them so she'd make enough food, but since I originally wasn't included in the dinner plans I felt uncomfortable hanging around. So I made my own dinner but then I hung out and talked with them in the kitchen, although inside I felt I shouldn't be there.

It's especially worse when there are only 2 people involved. If they're going to lunch and one of them invites me to join them last minute, I won't go because I haven't received confirmation of the invitation from the other person. Is that weird?

I don't know where this comes from. I guess I feel that if someone wanted me somewhere, they'd go to the effort of asking me there, and if I'm not invited, I must've been overlooked, or worse, not actually wanted there. And I don't want to be where I'm not wanted.

I don't know if I'm just being paranoid. Should I just get over it? How? arg. Sometimes my weirdness surprises even myself.